We define religion as the assumption that life has meaning. Religion, or lack of it, is shown not in some intellectual or verbal formulations but in one’s total orientation to life. Religion is whatever the individual takes to be his ultimate concern. One’s religious attitude is to be found at that point where he has a conviction that there are values in human existence worth living and dying for.
We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share.This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (via wethinkwedream)
Why Demisexuality Is Real
Once upon a time there was a girl.
She didn’t know if she was gay or straight. When she was young, she had a crush on another girl she was close to and thought “I guess I must be gay,” except that didn’t feel quite right.
She got older, and fell in love with a boy who had been her close friend. “I must be straight, or maybe bi?” she thought, but somehow, and I know this sounds crazy, neither of those felt quite right either.
The girl lived her life. She became a young woman and fell in love with one young man, and later when that ended, she fell in love with another. She loved their bodies and enjoyed having sex.
Except she wasn’t attracted to men, just these men she had fallen in love with. She let herself be kissed or touched sometimes by someone she didn’t have a bond with, but she didn’t like it. Worse than didn’t like it. To let that happen felt as if it did bad things to her soul.
Now you say, aren’t so many people like that?
Not exactly. The girl heard from friends that sometimes a kiss was a kiss, a touch was a touch. But for her, no matter what, no matter if he was gorgeous and she was drunk and it had been a very long time, for her it was the difference between magic and nothing, or worse - the difference between magic and something bad, something unwanted.
She wasn’t trying to be “special.” She wasn’t trying to judge or shame anyone else.
The thing is, people didn’t really accept that she was this way. They wanted her to “get over herself.” If she met “the right hot stranger” then she would want a one night stand, they said. If she wasn’t “so uptight” then she would want to make out with him on the first date.
She didn’t understand how she could enjoy sex with men she loved, but not find “men” sexually attractive. As in zero, zilp, zip. Not at all appealing. They might as well be … I don’t know, cartoon kangaroos. Or lamps. Or pretty statues. The way straight women talked about other women. Nice to look at maybe, but not objects of sexual desire, not ever.
The girl had never heard of demisexuality.
When she finally learned about what it was, that there were other people like this, she felt nothing but relief. This was not a choice or a “lifestyle,” but a part of her, involuntary.
She didn’t read about it and get ideas. She wasn’t trying to be different. She didn’t want to be different. She read about it and felt relief, thinking holy shit that’s me!
Demisexuality is about desire and arousal, not just sex and who you do it with. It’s not just that I only want to have sex with people I’m in love with, but I feel a complete absence of sexual desire or feeling for everyone else.
I am demisexual, and it is a real thing.
This has been a public service announcement.